Tag Archives: short story

May 16 – Limits: Second Person


Today we’re taking on the rare point of view: second person.

The Prompt
Write A Story In The Second Person


Oh, I had never written short story in second person. I just read about it in “A Story A Day in May.” Then I searched the examples of this point of view. Hard challenge!

Here is my writing!

Your new life was begun in that night. That night has given you bad story. You walked alone from your campus. You went home so late because there was meeting in your campus. Your friend Raisa has offered her help to accompany you to your home, but you refused her. You said that you’ll be fine. But, your guess was wrong, in the retired place before you passed the bridge, the four men have waylaid you. They held your hands and took your property. Not only that, they forced you to serve their desire. Yes, they raped you over and over till you fainted.

You only screamed, but nobody heard your voice. They left you there after raped you. They laughed loudly after that. They have taken your virginity. You cried, and cried along the night. You walked the way of your home wobbly. Bloody!

Your parents found you crying along your days and nights. You didn’t answer their question. You felt very sad and have tried to end your life. But, your parents and your family always help you and console you. They will never leave you in the darkness.

Since that, you have hated all the men. You have forgotten all your boyfriends. You said to yourself that all the men are same. You totally hated them. You were despondent. Finally, in your anger you made decision to leave your home and take to road. The other extreme decision, you proclaimed as a lesbian. You felt happy and got peace with your own way. You have left your religion and forgotten to worship your Lord.

You were so proud with your new life. You wrote and share about yourself in social media, “I AM A LESBIAN AND I AM PROUD OF THIS LABEL. I’LL MARRY A WOMAN TOMORROW!”

May 15 Limits: First Person


The Prompt
Write A Story In the First Person


“O, Allah! Yassirlana umuurona! Yasirlana umuurona!”

I don’t know what I have to do now. I don’t know the way to find much money to help my family. My wife just asked me money to buy some food and to treat our daughter. She is getting problem with her bronchial tube. I’m only a shop keeper, and my salary isn’t enough to recover all our needs.

Abi, we have to take Zainab to hospital. She isn’t getting well. I’m worried about her!” Salma told me about Zainab. It was heartbreaking. I said to please her heart and trying to give her hope, “Insha’Allah, I’ll find other job to get much money. Please pray for me! I’ll go now, Umi! Take care!” After kissing my wife and my daughter, I left the house to find other job. I have to do it for my family.

Finding job for men in this country is really difficult. Most of factories need women worker than men. It isn’t fair for men. I was graduated from Indonesian University, Information Management Program. But, I wasn’t lucky, my certificate was burnt when the fire burnt our house five years ago. My parents were died, and so my younger sister Aisha. I lost all my family in that accident. I was very sad, I couldn’t save my family and all the property.
I knew it was test from Allah and I accepted my life today.
It was sad to remember my past, I have to face my life today. My family needs much money now.

“O, Allah, help me to face this life! Guide me, O Allah!”
Untill dzuhur prayer, I didn’t find a job yet. I decided to take pray in Masjid. When I put my shoes on the rack, I heard someone called my name.
“Samir, you’re here? Hey do you remember me? I’m Musa, your close friend in University.”
I hunted about for the voice, and I saw a tall man with white skin was standing in front of me, “masha’Allah Musa, is it really you? Allah blesses you my brother!”
“Alhamdulillah, it’s very nice to see you here!”
Finally, we talked a lot after praying. He told me everything, about his business and his success life. He asked me a lot. I told him a little of my life, I didn’t want to share my sadness and my hardship to others even to my closest friend.
“I can see your hardship from your eyes, Samir. Please do tell it to me. Perhaps I can help you!” Musa asked me again. And I told him.
“Actually, I want to help you, Samir. I need a smart worker to manage my factory in Surabaya. Can you join with me?” Musa gave his idea to help me.
“O, I lost my certificate, Musa. I can’t leave my family for this time. I still have other job as a shopkeeper.”
“I don’t need your certificate, I only need your skill Samir! Please think about it!”
“I can leave my job next month, friend. I have to treat my daughter first.” I explained about my affairs.
“I have doubt about it if you wait till next month. O, wait…! I have other idea.” Musa lower his voice.
“I have friend whom need many workers this time. This job is very easy. You only have to deliver something to consumers.”
“What’s job, Musa?” I was interested with his idea.
“Be a courier. You can contact him if you’re interested.” Musa gave me a name card. I said many thanks to him.

***

Today was the third day I did my new job. It was really very simple job. I was like a postman. The different were I was paid everyday and I got some tips from my consumers.
I have delivered almost the packets. I still have three packets in baggage. I really loved this job. Tom, Musa’s friend was very kind. He gave me a motorcycle as my facility and had paid 50% of my salary in the first day. Alhamdulillah, I could take my daughter to hospital to get good treatment. Her mother and her uncle are accompanying her in hospital. Alhamdulillah for everything.

The traffic today was very crowded. Oh, I saw many policemen on cross road. I thought there was a raid. I drove my motor cycle slowly.
“Stop your motor, please park it here!” One of the policemen asked me to park my motor beside the road.
“Show me your identity, please!”
I show all my identity cards and driver’s license. “Complete! Now, please open the baggage!”
I did his order, “Only packets, Sir! I’m a courier!”
“Okay, I’ll open the packets!” He said again.
“Wait, Sir! There aren’t mine. Please don’t open them! It’s my responsibility to deliver them to the consumers.” I did mind with his order.
“Do you know what are they?”
I shook my head. I didn’t understand with his asking.
“You’ll be known in a few minutes, I’ll open them.” He asked to open the packet compulsively. I gave up with that situation.
“They’re narcotics! You can see them, Man!”
“Masha’Allah! I can’t believe it! They aren’t mine Sir! I swear by name of Allah, these packets aren’t mine!”
“You can explain about it in court, next! Now follow us to the Police office!”
“Sir, listen to me, please! I have family, my daughter is in hospital with my wife. I have to help them. If you catch me, so who will keep my family? Who will help them to pay the treatment? Who will…….” I protested with their decision.
“Pay your lawyer to help you!”

***

I can’t believe it. Musa, my closest friend has thrown me into jail. He sent me Tom to give me job. And I was so stupid accepted their offering. If I didn’t meet Musa, I’d be there accompany my lovely daughter in hospital. Allah, give me patience to pass this test. I’m Harun in jail now, in the cold place. I’ve failed to be a good father and a good husband! Forgive me O, Allah! Forgive me Salma! Forgive me my love Zainab! Forgive me, forgive me please!!! I was crying there mourned for my bad life.

3 Secret Rooms


 

Part 1

We just arrived to our new house, a big house in Batam, one of industrial city in Indonesia. Ali, my husband decided to move to Batam, because he works in Batam.

“Daddy, this house is too big for us. Are you sure that we’ll happy stay and live here?” Zaki our 13 years son asked his father. He is a student in Junior High School the second grade. Last time when we lived in Jakarta, Zaki had many friends, and now he has to find new friends here.

“I’m sure we’ll happy live in our new home. Believe in me, my son. I have decided the best for you and your Mom.” Said Zaki’s father.

“I trust you completely, Hun!” I responded his decision happily, “hey my son, please help me to bring this carrier bag!”

This morning, we were very busy to manage our new home. This house has many rooms, 5 bedrooms, 2 spare rooms, 3 bathrooms, a big kitchen, a large library, and 2 back rooms.
When Zaki was busy to choose his room, I talked to my husband about the house, “masha’Allah Hubby, this house is too big. It has many rooms, I’m confused to select the room for us, he..he!”

“Ha..ha..ha, follow me to select our room!” Ali invited me to see all rooms. After a half hour, we find our room, “I like this room, what do you think, Hubby?”

“I follow you, lovely! Let’s see our son!”

“Daddy! Mommy! I found my room! Look at here! It’s beautiful room for me, indeed! I can see the people outside from my room clearly. I can take the beautiful picture of that beach from my room too.” Zaki told his room.

“Wonderful! Now, clean and manage your room, okay! If you need our helps just call us!”

We continued to clean and snug up our home.

***

Only two weeks we lived in our new home together, today my husband had to attend the meeting in Surabaya. We understood about his work, and we didn’t complain about it to him. Before he went to Surabaya, he searched servants to help us and rent the security too, to keep us.
Zaki didn’t go to school today, he had several days to prepare the exams. I decided to check and observe the rooms. I asked Zaki to accompany me and he agreed with me. For the first time, we entered the library on the second floor. It was a large library, I admired its room and books were arranged beautifully. We read the titles of the books randomly. Unluckily, I saw the thick dust on the cupboard and stacks. I took the feather duster to clean them. When I touched the stacks, I felt the floor moved, and we were thrown to other side of the stacks. We were very confused. It happened too fast. It was a dark room. I touched the floor and searched the button to open the stacks.

“Where are us now, Mom? It is so dark! Can we find the way to back to the library?”

“I don’t know, Zaki. We must find something to open the stacks.”
We tried and tried, but we failed. Finally, Zaki found a hole in the corner of the room. With the light of his phone, he was searching the function of that hole.

“I guess, it is a way to other room of this house. Will we try this way, Mom?” Zaki offered his opinion. I didn’t have idea, except to follow his mind. That hole had a ladder at its bottom. We were going down along the ladder carefully.

“At our bottom isn’t the floor, Mom. It’s water. I think it’s a cave!” Zaki told about the condition at the bottom.

“Water?! Cave!? How could there is water at the bottom of our house. Are you sure, it’s the way to other room?” I felt very confused with that.

“I don’t know, Mom! Be careful, Mom! It’s like a cave, we can’t walk normally here.”

“Masha’Allah, I can’t believe it, Zaki! Am I dreaming?” I pinched my cheeks.

“No, you aren’t dreaming, Mom! It’s real. We are falling into the cave, because we don’t find yet the way to back to the library. Keep calm, Mom! I’ll try to find the way!”

We walked and walked hard to find the way. It was a real cave. There were many questions those I couldn’t find the answers. I didn’t know how many hours we had walked. There were many forks in the cave, I remembered our route. Luckily, there were some lamps on the walls of cave. I didn’t know who had put those lamps there. I only believed someone had made this intentionally for special purpose, but what purpose.

“Mommy, I see the light! We did it! Come on we walk to that way!” Zaki asked me to walk fast.
I was grateful for that. Zaki used his phone to see the way. He arrived there in few time.

“What place is it? Mom, see it! There is a house there! I see many men there. Be careful, my feeling isn’t good to see this. I guess…………”

Suddenly, we heard the voice, “Hey! What are you doing there? Catch them!”
We were shocked to hear that, we didn’t do anything for a while. Then my hand held Zaki’s hand with reflex-action.

“Run, Zaki! Run! We run to the room again!” We ran back to the room. We ran… and ran to keep ourselves. We believe those people weren’t good people. They seem were doing illegal business. But, we didn’t know their business, we didn’t have times to observe it. I fell many times in the cave, and so did my son. But, we didn’t stop our run. I didn’t let of Zaki’s hand.

“Dear, where is its ladder? Is my route right?” I was so panicked that I didn’t find the ladder.

“Wait…! Wait! , I think it isn’t its way. We are wrong, Mom! We have to hide there, Mom. I heard they ran towards us!” Zaki gave the idea calmly. He is great boy, indeed!

“I’m afraid, dear if they’ll find us here.”
Zaki put his index finger on his mouth gave me sign to keep silent. He switched off his phone. We heard the voice of some men. They were so near to our hiding place. We hid behind the big stone.

“I don’t see them, Boss! I think they have gone! Should we hunt them again?” a tall man asked a big man, I guessed his leader.

“We back now, we don’t have much times to find them. They’re villagers I think. They aren’t the police. Let’s go!”

We didn’t move at all, until those men moved far from us. Zaki and I tried hard to find the way to the library.

“We got it, Mom! I’m sure it’s the way to our library. Maybe we can find the way there. I hope there is button to open the stacks. You’re first Mom!”

“Masha’Allah, my son! What’s adventure we had today! We are safe here. Oh, I’m so tired, Zaki! We should take rest first before hunting the button. Give me your phone!”

“I prefer sitting in the dark room than running in the cave!” Zaki laughed loudly.

“Trust me, we’ll back to the library soon. What’s time now?”

“I heard prayer calling just now, Mom! So, we have spent many hours just now. I remembered we entered the library on eight fifteen.”

“Masha’Allah, dear! Insha’Allah we’ll find the way.”

“Yes, insha’Allah Mom.” Zaki and I sat behind the stacks and our backs touched them, and we felt the stacks moved fast, when we opened our eyes, we were in the library again. We saw our clothes, our body were wet and very dirty. Our feet had mad muddied the library.

“We have to clean this room, Mom! We can’t ask the servants to help us, right?”

“You’re very true. It’s our secret. Don’t say to your dad, okay! It’s our adventure. I guess, every room has its secret.”

“Wow! I like it, Mom! When will we check other rooms?”

“Be patient, okay! Its time will come.” I smiled at him widely.

“Nice adventure, Yes!”

 

to be continued

The Loser, Day 3 – Limits: 640 Words


This is the second of our recurring “limits” posts. As the month progresses you’ll come across all sorts of limits: time, word count, point of view, structure. If you get stuck, try rewriting an earlier story in a new way, using these ‘limits’ posts.

The Prompt
Write a story in 640 words


I am really upset, now. I have many problems. Allah isn’t fear to me. Why Allah always give me hardship. I am bored! I feel I stay in a narrow room. It is not a room, it’s a cave! I can’t see my light!

“ I HATE MY LIFE!” I kicked a wall of my room.
“HEY! KEEP SILENT! The wall doesn’t have any mistakes! You’re CRAZY, Man!” Zaid, my youngest brother protested my action. I’m mad at him. “It is not YOUR BUSINESS! Keep your words, Okay!”
“It’s my business, you have disturbed many people here! Our Mom and I are disturbed by you! It’s better for you to leave this house. You’re a trouble maker! You’re a bad brother for me! I don’t want to see your face! You’re the LOSER!
“WHAAAT?”
Zaid didn’t reply my word. He leaved me quickly. His bad words had made me very angry. I took my jacket and leaved the house. I saw Momma in the door of her room. She is gaping at me.

I’m sorry Mom, I have to go now.

***

I drove my Tiger fast to mountain. I loved nature. I liked to spend my times at beach, or mountain when I had a problem. I usually get peace there. I enjoyed the amazing pictures in front of me, the beautiful mountain. The wind was blowing breeze, it made me fresh. I ignited my Marlboro. It was very delicious. I am an active smoker. Marlboro is the best cigarette. I inhaled it enjoyably. I loved to play with its smokes. I saw the beautiful face of Asma my girlfriend. I heard her nice voice in my heart.

Zidane, I really love you! I’ll wait you patiently. I want to be your first and your last wife.
Asma, where are you now? I really missed you. I….
Then I saw Ziad my elder brother in that smoke, a great steel-manufacturer in Java. He is very individualist. He didn’t care his brothers and his parents. He only cares his business and himself. Bad man!

I can get my success because of my work. I have worked hard. You must work hard as I did. If not, so you will be a loser.

I AM NOT THE LOSER! I AM THE WINNER!!! I yelled out loudly. I hate that word. Zaid and Ziad called me the loser.
I heard the other voice. Voice of Zaid.

Yes, you’re a loser. Bye-bye loser!

I was broken heart to hear their bad voices. I hate my life! I need someone to talk. I’ll talk to Andre, my classmate in Senior High School. Now, he works as a taxi driver in Jakarta. I must go there.

***

“Do you know the reasons, why your brothers called you a loser?” Andre asked me when I talked him all my problems.

“I’m jobless, so that they called me a loser. I hate them!”
“Why you don’t find a job?”
“It’s hard Andre. I’m not like you! I want a good job, a good position, Man!” I explained my dream about jobs to him.
“Those are the problems. Please see yourself, your ability, your special skill. Then try to apply jobs! You must try it, Zidane!” Andre advised me to find jobs soon. He looked up me, and said, “If you want I can help you to connect you to my Boss. What do you think about it?”
“Thanks Andre, I’ll think first.” Actually I didn’t feel interest to be a taxi driver. It was low level of jobs.
“I got you, friend! Please remember, you can remove your bad label. Firstly, you must remove your ego. Don’t think about good level job, but complete your skill first! You can, Zidane!” Andre supported me well.
I remembered his advice.
Can I remove that label?
Andre said, “YES, YOU CAN!”

Writing 101, Day Eleven: Size Matters (In Sentences, that is)


Today’s prompt: Where did you live when you were 12 years old?

Which town, city, and country? Was it a house or an apartment? A boarding school or foster home?  An airstream or an RV? Who lived there with you?

Today’s twist: pay attention to your sentence lengths and use short, medium, and long sentences as you compose your response about the home you lived in when you were twelve.


 

So, I have to transform and to imagine my childhood. Wow, it’d be interesting!

Writing with long sentences will be easy if I write it in my own language, and it’s a challenge for me when I use English for it.  I still can’t feel the beautiful of English, I can’t find its rhythm. Let me try it!

I’m a little Eva, now! LOL

Twenty four years ago, I was a cute and active girl. 😀 I lived with my parents and my younger brother at small village, Salakopi – Sukabumi in West Java. My Mother was still young, she was 30, and my father was 39. My younger sister wasn’t born yet. She was born in 1994.

Living at village in that time was quite simple. There weren’t hand phone, computer, internet and modern technology. Our lives were simple enough. My great grand parents had ever told us that someday, 10 years or might 15 years later, life will be changed fast. We will manage and control everything only by our fingers.

(Their great prediction becomes true! Unfortunately, they can’t see our lives today! They had passed away!)

My parents bought a house when I was a baby, I didn’t remember about it. But I did remember my childhood from age 3. Our house was so small, but I lived and spent my childhood there happily. I could imagine our house and its parts. I loved this place. A place where we could give and got loves.

My parents always say and advice us, “Our house is very small, but we can share loves and happiness within, we can enlighten our house by reading Qur’an. It’s the important thing in our lives, when we return to Allah, we only need land for our graves, right?”

We lived around our big family. So my neighbors were my family. Since I was 19, my parents sold our first house for some reasons. It’s part B of this story.

As a child, my main hobby was playing, playing and playing. I didn’t think about my school seriously. I was a student the last grade of Public Elementary School. I needed 10 minutes  to come to my school. I went to school then back to home. After schooling, I spent my times for playing. Playing hide and seek, it was my favorite activity. I had ever gone fishing with my friends to the river. We used bamboo for it. It was very fun, because I did catch a fish. So many memories I had made in this age. I rare stay at home, because I was an active girl.  Playing with my family and other friends was fun!

I loved my childhood! I can’t believe it, I’m adult now!  🙂