HOW TO CONTROL OUR ANGER?

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته  يا اخوتي فى الله

In this occasion, I’ll discuss about the ways in controlling our anger. Alhamdulillah I have gotten a few opinions from my wonderful friends and I’ll put theirs here. In this special post I’ll not share my way, because I’m the one who get hurt easy. That’s hard for me to control my anger. So, I’m a learner here. I’ll learn from you, my sisters! InshaÁllah.

This post is the second my collaboration with my beautiful friends. I ever done with Sis Saadia Haq, The author of The Human lens. And now my chance with you. My sisters! It’s not easy to realize it if I only give my plain article then you correct it. I have thought I’ll do my other collaboration when I get an advance level in my English. 😀

Back to our topic, let’s discuss about managing in anger.

“A man said to The Prophet, ‘Give me advice,’ The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, ‘Do not get angry,’ The man asked repeatedly and The Prophet answered each time, ‘Do not get angry.” ( Hadith Bukhori)

Prophet Muhammad SAW knew that if a person controlled his anger he would be able to control everything else. That is why

Let’s control our anger!

The Prophet mentioned in another hadith;

“The powerful man is not the one who can wrestle, but the powerful man is the one who can control himself at the time of anger.” Controlling anger can be an indicator of the streng of one’s personality.

Allah has said in Qurán Kareem surah Al-I Ímran : 134.

اَلَّذِيْنَ يُنْفِقُوْنَ فِى الَّسرَّآءِ  وَالَّضَرَّآءِ وَالْكَظِمِيْنَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِيْنَ عَنِ النَّاسِ  وَاللهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِيْنَ

Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people- and Allah loves the doers of good.

Here are the great opinions/ ways in managing the anger, from my great sisters :

1. Sister Sumaira Zaheer, the author of The Muslimah Mommy

“Whenever I get angry, I start thinking about the people who are less fortunate than I’am; these people are so happy and content with what little they have. With that, I find that my anger reduces.”

2. Sister Theresa Corbin, the author of Islamwich

“Well if someone is making me mad or provoking me I just try to remind myself it is probably because they are hurt or having a difficult time, then I remember that the Prophet SAW said that the strong person is the one who controls himself while angry. This helps me a lot.”

3. Sister Papatia Feauxzar, the author of Between Sister, SVP!

“To be honest I never thought it. I don’t really get angry. And when I am, I just take a time out to think things through. Whether it’s taking a walk or being alone in a room by myself. I’m sorry I can’t help much.”

4. Sister Syamsinur Nur, the author of Indahnya Berbagi.

“When someone made me angry, I prayed to Allah and said I seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan (Satan), the accursed one, in the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate. Then I left him/her. J

But, I’ll share the article that relevance for this topic.

I ever read the article about motivation  from our Prophet Muhammad SAW, how to control our emotion/ anger.

The first; Seeking refuge in Allah

He has said in his hadith:

لا تغضب ولك الجنة

“Do not get angry , for you a heaven.” (HR. Thabrani in shahih At-Targhib no. 2749)

Sahabah Sulaiman bin Surd radhiyallahu ‘anhu, told:
One day I was sitting with the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. In that time there were two men yelling at each other. One of them had a red face and neck veins peaked. Then the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,

إِني لأعلمُ كَلِمَةً لَوْ قالَهَا لذهبَ عنهُ ما يجدُ، لَوْ قالَ: أعوذُ بالله مِنَ الشَّيْطانِ الرَّجيمِ، ذهب عَنْهُ ما يَجدُ

I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: “I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan” then all his anger will go away.

(HR. Bukhari and Muslim)

When we seek refuge in Allah, we should say the words with understanding and reflection, not simply recite the words.

The second; Keeping quiet.

The Prophet SAW said, “If one of you becomes angry then he should stay silent.” This is an important practice because when we are angry our action and speech may be disproportionate and unjust.

From Ibn Abbas radi ‘anhuma, the Prophet sallallaahu’ alaihi wa sallam said

“If you are angry, be quiet.” (HR. Ahmad and Shu’aib al-Hasan Arnauth )

A bad speech, excessive reproach, cursed destiny, etc., can be accounted by Allah as  sins.

وَيْلُ لِّكُلِّ هُمَزَةٍ لُّمَزَةٍ

“Woe to every scorner and mocker”

 Third, Changing your posture.

The tendency of people who gets angry is standing in higher position, higher and higher … The more followed, he increasingly wanted higher. With a higher position, he can vent his anger as much.

Therefore, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam advise to do the opposite. To mitigate the anger is  by taking a lower position, lower and lower. From Abu Dhar radiyallahu ‘anhu, the Prophet sallallaahu’ alaihi wa sallam advised;

“When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down” (HR. Ahmad 21 348, Abu Dawud 4782).

The last, perform ablution or wudu immediately.

Anger comes from the devils and they were created from fire. Extinguish it with cold water.

There is a hadith from Urwah al-Sa’di radiyallahu ‘anhu, he said,

إن الغضب من الشيطان وإن الشيطان خلق من النار وإنما تطفأ النار بالماء فإذا غضب أحدكم فليتوضأ

Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water. So when one of you becomes angry, he should make wudu (HR. Ahmad 17 985 and Abu Daud).”

Indeed the great ways, that I ever gotten. Jazakumullah khoiron katsiiron my sisters. You have taught me over your ways. Allah bless you all!

Only Allah who can reward you with the best reward.

From another source I ever read about these:

Praiseworthy anger:

Sometimes anger can be good. The Prophet never got angry except when the commandments of Allah were violated. However, if we do fee anger for the sake of Allah, we should make sure that we are not actually getting angry for our own ego or interests, we should express the anger in the right way. Just because the anger is for the right cause does not give anyone license behave badly. There should also be some benefits in the anger.

Harmful Effects of Getting Angry:

There are many harmful effects of getting angry. These effects can harm us physically, socially or emotionally. It is well known today that the anger causes many health problems and can be a symptom or cause of mental illness, especially if not controlled. There are wisdom behimd shariah injunctions and improving overall well being is  one of the many benefits of controlling anger.

*To everyone who reads this post, you can share your ways too here. I always love every ideas, or corrections that come from you all. Truly! ❤