MOM , PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE !!

Assalamu’alaikum, My brothers and sisters in Islam,

This time, I’ll write about my life ( part of my life ). It’s  true story.

I was a teacher for 6 years at Ad-Da’wah Islamic School, Sukabumi – West Java.  I taught the fourth/ the fifth grade, and ever taught Arabic Lesson. I enjoyed my job for 5 years. One left made me so confused and stressed. WHY???  My son complained about my job.

I usually went to school on 07.00 a.m. The lesson begun on 07.30 a.m. But, when my son complained of my job, I had to go to my job at in early morning, I ever went to school, after praying subuh directly. It made me crazy. What job is it? How long time I should do this? How about my son? Who will teach, care , educate him in his golden age? So many questions I couldn’t find the answers.

Kaka’s collections

When my son was 4, he often complained to me. He always asked me, why I left him for long time. He was right, he got his mother so rare to accompany his days. He played with his grandma, and I guessed he felt bored. I understood, he needed me as his mom.

Before he was 4, I could go to school pleasantly and happily. My son usually kissed me and said salam to me. I felt hard to leave him, surely. I would love playing, caring of  my boy at that time.

One day, I still remembered on 16^th October 2012 ( his birthday), my son woke up so early. Guess!!, what’s time? On 04.00 a.m. Yes, he woke up on that time. Oh.. Allah, I was so panic. I thought what must I do. Should I leave him again as the last time? No, I wouldn’t do it.

After waking up, Kaka ( my son) shouted up.

“ Hello world! Good morning. It’s a great day!. My Mom here. I love her.”

My tears fell on my checks.

I said slowly, “ Forgive me my son. I did my job is only for you. Really, I perforced to do it. O, Allah, give me the best way for our life.”

I hugged and kissed him.

“ Let’s play together, Mom!” He suddenly asked and hold my hands.

I smiled, “ Alright, but wait we have to pray subuh first. Today is your.”

He smiled beautifully, “ Mom, I love you. I need you so much. I’m so loneliness without you. Mom, please don’t leave me alone!

I was so distressed to hear his longing. He was totally right. He had the right to get lessons from his mom.

Kaka’s books

I hugged him tightly. “ You need Allah, not only me as your mom. I promise, I’ll be here for you. I promise, my beloving son.”

“ Thank you, Mom.” He was so excited. I gave him a wide smile.

For the first time, I felt so happy playing with him. I did my best for his day. And I was absent to school at that day. I didn’t care.

I soon realized. I had to choose my way, the best way for us. And I acted fast, I left my job soon. I didn’t want miss this period, caring and teaching my kid. It’s most  important than the others. I believe in Allah. He will gives us the best. I was so happy with my choice.

I thought, it was the only way to solve this matter. Stay and work at home. WHY NOT?

Finally, I soon got job. I searched it on internet. I did it, not only at home but in everywhere ( I mean only in Indonesia)  anytime, online and offline. It’s be an agent of Payment Point Online Bank  (PPOB). It worked well. I did all the transactions using SMS, Facebook, Yahoo Messenger, or web. I really love my new job. And before too long, that’s just what I did. “Where there is a will, there is a way”.

On April, 2014, I received a sms from a vice headmaster of Ad-Da’wah Islamic School. She offered me to back to school. The school needed me. She gave me some choices for teaching according to my time. But I wasn’t sure if I could. I don’t really have a plan to back to that school for this time. I still have programs for my boy. I rejected her offer kindly.

I’ve been working and staying at home more and less for 2 years. I am trying to do it happily. There are something I do, although I stay at home, Alhamdulillah. I’ve to prove to my kid, I will be a good mom for him. And, I expect big things from him. I always be here for you my little prince. I hope it isn’t too late, to spend all days together. I should realize it. Insha’Allah.

I  LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY SON.

Kaka likes to play around the rice fields gardens, and rivers.